Celebrating The Gift

Thanks so much for all the kind comments and for your prayers this past week.

In case you didn't know... our sweet 5 month old great nephew passed away 1 week ago today.

Dima Lee Heilshorn 

My brother Bob (the grandpa) asked me to speak at the memorial service.

Oh... Can I tell you? 

It was so difficult.

But God was gracious to give me the words.

Just wanted to share them with you...

On Wed. night as we sat at the kitchen table with Bob and Jean, Bob told us that he was going to be the one to do the memorial service.  I asked him if he was sure that he could handle it.  After all, this is his grandchild we were talking about.  Maybe we should have someone else step in.  He said that Katie (his daughter/the mother) wanted him to do it... and he wanted to honor her.  

He then preceded to tell me he wanted ME to help him.  

"Who me?"

"Yep... you".  

Since Katie had lived with us during her pregnancy, he felt like I would be the perfect person to share about Katie and Dima.

So... here I am.  Pretty nervous but... here I am.

Today, I want to give thanks.  Thanks to God for the life of our precious little Dima.  

His life was short, but oh did it impact so many of us.

God absolutely knew what He was doing when He began to form Dima in Katie's womb.  

He was a miracle from the beginning.

Katie came to live with our family in about her sixth month of pregnancy.  

Oh how I could relate to her circumstances.

I told her the story of when I was pregnant out of wedlock.  

How people would say "It's a mistake".  

[You can read more of our story here:   It's still hard for me to believe ]
I had a teacher come up to me at a basketball game and tell me that the baby growing inside of me was not a "mistake" -- The sex outside of marriage was the mistake... not the baby. 

The baby was a miracle.

It took awhile for her to get used to living in the Shock House.

It took us awhile to learn her lingo... she speaks her own little language for sure :)!

But by the time Dima arrived, they were both part of our family.

Katie and I spent a whole lot of time together.

Dr. appts, a couple of long nights in the ER, chopping veggies for supper, 

All while talking about how thankful we were that she was in a safe place.

Sidenote:  That girl can clean... she made our fridge just sparkle.  As a matter of fact... it needs a good cleaning Katie.  You are welcome to come back anytime ;)!!!

I remember how Katie didn't know if she was going to be a good mother.

She couldn't imagine that Dima was actually going to be in her arms. 

We all continually reminded her that those kicks were coming from a precious little life growing inside of her.

Katie is one tough cookie.  You should have heard her bossing the Dr. around while she was delivering Dima.  He was telling me and her mom about a book he had been reading.  Katie very firmly told him to "stop talking and get back to work".  So funny!

We watched as Dima came into this world.

Watched Katie fall in love with this precious little man.

Watched Bob and Jean become absolutely smitten over their new little grandson.

Watched Aunt Rachel, Uncle Richard, Uncle Josh and Anne welcome the little guy into their family with open arms.

Watched this little guy bring a family closer than ever before.

Katie went from someone who never wanted to hold anyone else's baby, to a protective mother bear with her little cub.  Even in the hospital she was instructing all of us seasoned moms on how to hold him.

Again... so funny!

He was such a good baby.  

Bob dropped Dima off at our house last week for Alayna to watch him.  

I asked him for instructions.  

He said "Oh, he has diapers and bottle in the diaper bag"

I replied "Ok.. but when does he need to sleep or eat... and how much?"

He just shrugged his shoulders "When he gets hungry, feed him.  When he is tired, he will sleep."

And he was right.  

Dima was so content. 

Just smiling -- Oh man, did he have the cutest smile from across the room.

A good, good baby.

Such a gift from God.

I remember thinking these last couple of weeks... 

Thank you God.  Thank you that our family got to be even a small part of your plan to set Katie's life in the right direction and bring little Dima safely into this world. 

Then.Came.Monday.

I got the call from Bob.  

Dima passed away in his sleep this morning.

What in the world?  

My head was spinning.

Heart racing.

Tears flowing.

God... what are you doing?  

How can this be?  

Where do we go from here?

This is just all so tragic.  I've been talking to Katie about what an AMAZING God you are... Now what do I say?  

It is so hard to go through something this tragic in the midst of this Christmas season. 

Who wants to celebrate?  How can I even think about it?

On Thursday... in the midst of the pain, Kevin and I met with our pastor, Brad.  

I was just honest with him... with all of these questions.

He said some things that brought light to the darkness.

Brad just told us that when a baby dies,  people will ask the question "Did God just create this baby to die?"  

The answer to that question is "No".  

God created all babies to live.  

There is only one baby that was ever born for the purpose of dying.

That baby was Jesus.

He was born to die.

Die for our sins so that we may live.

Jesus was born to die... so that little Dima may live.

We really do, more than ever, have a reason to celebrate this Christmas.

Celebrate that precious little baby born in a manger...

I don't think I will ever look at the nativity scene the same again.

Ever.

God promises that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.

I am praying that in this season...

We will do just that.

Draw near to God.

Put our faith in the one who came to die. 

Knowing  that as we put our faith in him... 

We will have eternal life.

James 4:8  Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.