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Showing posts from 2019

Letter To Dad ~ Year 7

Dad, Here's the thing... seven years without you and I still miss you something terrible. I still can hear your voice and see your silly grin. What I keep thinking about these days is how much I want your legacy to live on... through me and through all of us. And in some crazy kind of way? I think it kind of is. Let me tell you why... Little Livia (side note, I so wish you could have known you) gave me a homemade card on the first day of our family vacation last month. You know what it said? "Grandma, I love you very much and can't wait to dance for you this week!"  I know right??? It sounds like something one of your kids/grandkids would have written to you. I'm growing up to be like my daddy.  Tears of joy flow freely when I watch our little ladies dance for me. The tears come more now... and I don't mind. The joy of seeing our Alayna walk down the aisle to marry Jake (another side note - I wish he would have known you).  Watching Sawyer perform in

Adventures in Anxiety

when people don't understand. when they tell you "satan is having a field day in your mind". when they tell you "if you just had good, sound biblical teaching"... and you just stare back at them. shocked by their words... their inability to grasp what you are saying. no... no... that isn't what i'm saying. dang.it. forget it. forget i said anything. and you walk away wondering what they will tell others. this happened to me last night. it happens a whole lot. well meaning people who are trying to fix me. trying to convince me that "getting over" anxiety is easy. i was more stunned last night than usual. i'm still shaking my head just thinking about it. right now... i can feel myself shaking my head as i type this. honestly? i don't need "fixed". i'm alright. like i said in my facebook video the other day... i have been living with this for 24 years. living. really living. there are moments, yes, wh