Update on Dad & A Story of Surrender

First an update on Dad.

The nurse came this morning and said he is in the transitional stage... not the final stage of the dying process.  But then she said he could be in the final stage by the end of the day.  I think the theme of this whole process has been ~ We just can't know for sure.

This weekend we really thought he was moving on to Glory two different times.  We sat by his side and sang and laughed and prayed.

In the quiet of the afternoon yesterday, I sat at his side and whispered (ok... maybe not whispered... the man's hearing is terrible) a few verses into his good ear.

This is one of them ~

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Math. 11:28-29

I just explained to him that there is rest for his soul in Jesus.  Our whole family has been telling him that it is o.k. for him to move on... we will take good care of mom and each other.  Dad shakes his head as if to say he knows and he is ready.

We have said "I love you" to each other  many times... and I did ask him two days ago if I was still his favorite... he shook his head "yes"  :)

Kathy and Ken (and family) skyped with Dad yesterday morning and he was very alert during that time.  Again... hard to see all of the tears shed, but so good to have these times with our dad.

Since then, he has slept most of time.  His blood pressure was off the charts high this morning and his lungs sounded crackly for the first time since he has been home.

My brother Bill went into the hospital on Saturday... he was so very sick.  We still haven't found out what was causing the fever, but the antibiotics are working and he is feeling much better today.

You can imagine how Mom has been feeling,  having her husband and son in two different hospital beds.

We would love it if you could pray for Bill as well as our dad.

So that's the update on Dad/Bill.

And now, about my soul...

This morning, I went for a walk after the nurse left.  I just needed to get some fresh air, listen to some worship music and talk with my creator.

I told him how I am struggling to find rest for my own soul in all of this.

You see,  I have a selfish heart. Kevin and I are supposed to be getting on a cruise ship in less than 2 weeks for a trip that has been in the works for a long time.  This trip was a gift from Bob & Jean.  And the cool thing about it is that they are coming with us along with Kath and Ken.

How fun is that?

And now... it's on the chopping block because of this whole situation with our dad.

I felt like I might have been looking way too forward to it a few weeks ago.  Not gonna lie, I had been watching old episodes of the Love Boat online... cheesy huh?  Oh, and watching our ship leave Port Canaveral on Sunday afternoons... counting down the weeks until we would be on that ship.

So I told God just how much I was looking forward to this trip (as if He didn't know).  And then I told him that I long to find a peace for my soul in all of this.

Then... this song came on Alyssa's iPod.  (don't forget to pause the music at bottom of blog is you're going to watch this.)

I listened to the words and began to pray them... I actually got down on my knees in the field beside the  walking path.  In desperate times, it doesn't really matter what others think.

I just wanted to surrender this whole situation to Him.

To tell Him... with arms stretched wide... that I will trust Him with His timing.

To tell Him... I want to know Him more through this.

To say to Him... "Lord, have your way in me".

Can I tell you the peace that came upon me as I stood up from my knees?

Jesus alone satisfies...

Far more than a "my cruise".

Far more than "my timing".

Far more than "my sleep".

I long to look back on this time and see myself completely surrendered to and satisfied in Jesus Christ.

I know this is a journey.

I know that I will need to continue to surrender this journey to the ONE who knows best!

Will you pray that for me?  Will you pray that for my family?

We continue to be so very blessed by all of your kind words and encouragement!

Thanks for standing beside us in all of this!