Adventures in Anxiety

when people don't understand.
when they tell you "satan is having a field day in your mind".
when they tell you "if you just had good, sound biblical teaching"...
and you just stare back at them.
shocked by their words...
their inability to grasp what you are saying.
no... no... that isn't what i'm saying.
dang.it.
forget it.
forget i said anything.
and you walk away wondering what they will tell others.
this happened to me last night.
it happens a whole lot.
well meaning people who are trying to fix me.
trying to convince me that "getting over" anxiety is easy.
i was more stunned last night than usual.
i'm still shaking my head just thinking about it.
right now... i can feel myself shaking my head as i type this.
honestly?
i don't need "fixed".
i'm alright.
like i said in my facebook video the other day...
i have been living with this for 24 years.
living.
really living.
there are moments, yes, when it gets the best of me.
but, there is so much good that has come out of this anxiety journey.
journals upon journals of prayers.
scripture that i have memorized.
songs that i have sung.
ministries that i have been a part of.
friends that i have made.
i'm now seeing this as an adventure.
adventures in anxiety.
learning how to live with, manage, and make the most of it.
the right foods.
the right exercise.
the right rest.
all the things.
this is the beauty of it.
i am forced to look at my life.
to take care of my body.
to breathe deep.
to pray.
to ask for help.
and to realize, even as i type...
it is not my place to judge those who don't understand.
and... even more importantly?
it's not beneficial for me to back down now.
to run and hide from people.
to worry about what they think.
so i'm choosing to stay in.
to not believe the lies.
not retreat.
keep posting.
keep believing there are others who benefit from this.
others who understand and need to know they are not alone in this.
stay in, karen.
stay in.