Rapture PTSD
#raptureanxiety.
There it is.
I have had it.
I think in some sort of odd way...
I still have it.
Not scared it is going to happen anymore.
Just scared of bringing up the feelings.
All that went along with the ridiculous rapture talk.
In the 4th grade when I first heard about it.
Watch a movie.
A Thief in the Night/A Distant Thunder.
Let me say it again...
4th grade.
Went along with my parents to a high school event.
New Years Eve.
Sat in the back and watched in horror.
What is this?
People disappearing in the middle of the night.
Planes crashing.
Cars wrecking.
People reeling.
And then...
The people who were left behind?
Running.
No food.
Fires and death.
And then?
They had to choose.
Get the mark of the beast or get their heads chopped off.
That's how it ended.
The star of the movie up on the platform ready to die.
The sound of the guillotine.
Lord help us all.
Ok.
Deep breath.
I just found the darn movie on youtube.
Watched some of it to make sure I was remembering right.
Oh... I was.
My nine year old self didn't miss a beat.
The horses, the barn fire, the men with guns.
~ side note ~
I didn't remember how incredibly horrible the acting was.
How cheesy the entire film actually was.
Cheesy and Horrifying.
I absolutely remember the aftermath of what this movie did to my brain.
I slept with my parents night after night.
Holding their hands.
Praying they wouldn't be taken from me.
Praying I wouldn't have to get my head chopped off.
It scared the hell out of me.
And made me want to tell all of my fourth grade friends.
I needed to scare the Hell out of them as well.
I was so sure it was going to happen any day.
I knew it would happen before I graduated high school.
All the signs were there.
Everyone in my life was talking about it.
I had better be ready.
We all had better be ready.
No being "left behind" for me.
Then I had children.
The "Left Behind" generation.
They didn't read the books.
They just had a mom who lived in fear.
Even if I didn't speak it.
They saw the it in my life.
The anxiety of a God who was more about terrorizing children than loving them to himself.
Yep... I lived in fear.
What if they get left behind?
What if they have to go through the seven years of tribulation?
What if we are going through it now?
What if our social security numbers are the mark?
What if?
What if?
What if?
In the last few years my "What if?" has been changing.
I'm seeing everything differently.
Believing God doesn't bring us to Himself through scare tactics.
It's his love that draws us to Him.
It's his kindness that leads us to repentance.
Learning Theology...
Studying who God really is...
Has led me to believe that these movies were all a crock of...
Scare tactics to win people to christ.
Which christ?
The music and the verses that were displayed in this movie were haunting.
I was just talking to my sister about all of this a couple of days ago.
And then I saw the tweets today.
All of the #raptureanxiety.
I am not alone.
The PTSD from these scare tactics is prevalent.
Adults.
Remembering all of the voices.
All of the scary nights.
All of the prayers lifted to a God who would snatch up a parent and leave us behind.
Holy Smokes.
Can we all start a big support group?
Those movies had more of a negative impact on my life than Jason, Freddie and Michael put together.
Please Lord,
Let us learn more and more the Truth of who you are.
And how you draw people to yourself.
I understand we do not what the future holds.
But I do know one thing.
The God who holds the future?
He isn't out to scare little children into following him.
He just doesn't work like that.
His love is better than life.
Oh God, would you heal us?
There it is.
I have had it.
I think in some sort of odd way...
I still have it.
Not scared it is going to happen anymore.
Just scared of bringing up the feelings.
All that went along with the ridiculous rapture talk.
In the 4th grade when I first heard about it.
Watch a movie.
A Thief in the Night/A Distant Thunder.
Let me say it again...
4th grade.
Went along with my parents to a high school event.
New Years Eve.
Sat in the back and watched in horror.
What is this?
People disappearing in the middle of the night.
Planes crashing.
Cars wrecking.
People reeling.
And then...
The people who were left behind?
Running.
No food.
Fires and death.
And then?
They had to choose.
Get the mark of the beast or get their heads chopped off.
That's how it ended.
The star of the movie up on the platform ready to die.
The sound of the guillotine.
Lord help us all.
Ok.
Deep breath.
I just found the darn movie on youtube.
Watched some of it to make sure I was remembering right.
Oh... I was.
My nine year old self didn't miss a beat.
The horses, the barn fire, the men with guns.
~ side note ~
I didn't remember how incredibly horrible the acting was.
How cheesy the entire film actually was.
Cheesy and Horrifying.
I absolutely remember the aftermath of what this movie did to my brain.
I slept with my parents night after night.
Holding their hands.
Praying they wouldn't be taken from me.
Praying I wouldn't have to get my head chopped off.
It scared the hell out of me.
And made me want to tell all of my fourth grade friends.
I needed to scare the Hell out of them as well.
I was so sure it was going to happen any day.
I knew it would happen before I graduated high school.
All the signs were there.
Everyone in my life was talking about it.
I had better be ready.
We all had better be ready.
No being "left behind" for me.
Then I had children.
The "Left Behind" generation.
They didn't read the books.
They just had a mom who lived in fear.
Even if I didn't speak it.
They saw the it in my life.
The anxiety of a God who was more about terrorizing children than loving them to himself.
Yep... I lived in fear.
What if they get left behind?
What if they have to go through the seven years of tribulation?
What if we are going through it now?
What if our social security numbers are the mark?
What if?
What if?
What if?
In the last few years my "What if?" has been changing.
I'm seeing everything differently.
Believing God doesn't bring us to Himself through scare tactics.
It's his love that draws us to Him.
It's his kindness that leads us to repentance.
Learning Theology...
Studying who God really is...
Has led me to believe that these movies were all a crock of...
Scare tactics to win people to christ.
Which christ?
The music and the verses that were displayed in this movie were haunting.
I was just talking to my sister about all of this a couple of days ago.
And then I saw the tweets today.
All of the #raptureanxiety.
I am not alone.
The PTSD from these scare tactics is prevalent.
Adults.
Remembering all of the voices.
All of the scary nights.
All of the prayers lifted to a God who would snatch up a parent and leave us behind.
Holy Smokes.
Can we all start a big support group?
Those movies had more of a negative impact on my life than Jason, Freddie and Michael put together.
Please Lord,
Let us learn more and more the Truth of who you are.
And how you draw people to yourself.
I understand we do not what the future holds.
But I do know one thing.
The God who holds the future?
He isn't out to scare little children into following him.
He just doesn't work like that.
His love is better than life.
Oh God, would you heal us?
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