A Lesson Learned…
Ok… bear with me.
What I am about to post started out as a prayer in my journal.
Somewhere in the midst of the prayer... it turned into a blogpost.
Normally doesn't happen… and I was going to rewrite the whole thing. Then I thought, maybe… just maybe, you all might want a look into the way my ridiculous brain works. :)
Saturday 11/26/11
You are all I need God. You are more than enough!
Sometimes You, in your sovereign plan… no, a lot of times, You bring people into my day, my life, my world, to give me what it is that You know that I need.
But, too many times, I take it upon myself to appoint others, especially my husband, as my Savior… the one that will sweep me off my feet and rescue me out of all my troubles. I lay a burden on the poor guy that he was never meant to bear.
For example, this past Monday [I think this is where it turns into a blog instead of a prayer btw], I was so excited that Kevin was going to be there with me for Andrew's surgery. He couldn't be there for the last one. In fact, most of the time, it's just me… just me with my parents at the dr. office or hospital…just me with our kids. And in spite of all my fears, I do just fine.
Because of my hypochondriac tendencies, I have to be prepared as I walk into these places… I am not even kidding. I take my bible and my iPod. I pray a ton. I don't take any doctor's office lightly. It is a battle in my mind. And… with my parents, I average at least one dr. visit a week.
When I walk into these type of places prepared… I do more than fine. I have even been known to tell others about Jesus in the midst of some very scary circumstances.
Back to the surgery on Monday. Because Kevin was coming with me, I totally let my guard down. Looking back on it, I am not quite sure what I thought having him there was going to do for me, but I do know I was depending on him. Needless to say, the kid let me down.
Is that his fault? Nope! I have to admit, I thought it was... in the moment… I was stinkin mad.
He sat down int he waiting room, put on Drew's headphones and said he was going to "review" the new Coldplay album. And review it he did! He sat there and smiled, and nodded his head to the music… looking kinda cute (I must say) and kinda ridiculous at the same time.
I, on the other hand, sat there getting angry with him and feeling sorry for myself.
Why isn't he paying attention to me?
Does he know we are in a "surgery center"?
Can't he smell it?
Does he care about ME at all????
So of course, we start bickering in Drew's recovery room. Drew finally looked at us and said so very sweetly "Hey guys, I am over here."
How humbling is that?
I was telling my sister-in-law this story last night. That it was a good thing Andrew was so looped up on the drugs… and that I was SURE he didn't remember any of it. Of course right then, Drew piped in with a "I do think I remember that".
Sorry Drew!
It wasn't until later Monday evening that I realized the whole day really had nothing to do with Kevin. I believe now that God was just trying to show me that HE is the one that will satisfy me.
Seems to be a theme in my life lately.
As I run to Him and allow Him to fill me up, the miraculous happens. I have a peace and a joy that can only come from trusting Him.
Then, and only then, am I able to freely give myself away… even in the midst of the scariest situations.
If I would have sat in that waiting room trusting God… just think of how much cuter my husband would have looked to me :)! Maybe I would have even danced along… probably would have been just as embarrassing as the fighting, but a whole lot more fun!
I have to tell you… my husband is a precious, precious man. And, so often is MORE than there for me! God uses him over and over in my life to comfort and love me way beyond what I deserve.
So... in light of this past Monday, I am praying that we all can learn more and more how to fully rely on Jesus…
He is enough.
What I am about to post started out as a prayer in my journal.
Somewhere in the midst of the prayer... it turned into a blogpost.
Normally doesn't happen… and I was going to rewrite the whole thing. Then I thought, maybe… just maybe, you all might want a look into the way my ridiculous brain works. :)
Saturday 11/26/11
You are all I need God. You are more than enough!
Sometimes You, in your sovereign plan… no, a lot of times, You bring people into my day, my life, my world, to give me what it is that You know that I need.
But, too many times, I take it upon myself to appoint others, especially my husband, as my Savior… the one that will sweep me off my feet and rescue me out of all my troubles. I lay a burden on the poor guy that he was never meant to bear.
For example, this past Monday [I think this is where it turns into a blog instead of a prayer btw], I was so excited that Kevin was going to be there with me for Andrew's surgery. He couldn't be there for the last one. In fact, most of the time, it's just me… just me with my parents at the dr. office or hospital…just me with our kids. And in spite of all my fears, I do just fine.
Because of my hypochondriac tendencies, I have to be prepared as I walk into these places… I am not even kidding. I take my bible and my iPod. I pray a ton. I don't take any doctor's office lightly. It is a battle in my mind. And… with my parents, I average at least one dr. visit a week.
When I walk into these type of places prepared… I do more than fine. I have even been known to tell others about Jesus in the midst of some very scary circumstances.
Back to the surgery on Monday. Because Kevin was coming with me, I totally let my guard down. Looking back on it, I am not quite sure what I thought having him there was going to do for me, but I do know I was depending on him. Needless to say, the kid let me down.
Is that his fault? Nope! I have to admit, I thought it was... in the moment… I was stinkin mad.
He sat down int he waiting room, put on Drew's headphones and said he was going to "review" the new Coldplay album. And review it he did! He sat there and smiled, and nodded his head to the music… looking kinda cute (I must say) and kinda ridiculous at the same time.
I, on the other hand, sat there getting angry with him and feeling sorry for myself.
Why isn't he paying attention to me?
Does he know we are in a "surgery center"?
Can't he smell it?
Does he care about ME at all????
So of course, we start bickering in Drew's recovery room. Drew finally looked at us and said so very sweetly "Hey guys, I am over here."
How humbling is that?
I was telling my sister-in-law this story last night. That it was a good thing Andrew was so looped up on the drugs… and that I was SURE he didn't remember any of it. Of course right then, Drew piped in with a "I do think I remember that".
Sorry Drew!
It wasn't until later Monday evening that I realized the whole day really had nothing to do with Kevin. I believe now that God was just trying to show me that HE is the one that will satisfy me.
Seems to be a theme in my life lately.
As I run to Him and allow Him to fill me up, the miraculous happens. I have a peace and a joy that can only come from trusting Him.
Then, and only then, am I able to freely give myself away… even in the midst of the scariest situations.
If I would have sat in that waiting room trusting God… just think of how much cuter my husband would have looked to me :)! Maybe I would have even danced along… probably would have been just as embarrassing as the fighting, but a whole lot more fun!
I have to tell you… my husband is a precious, precious man. And, so often is MORE than there for me! God uses him over and over in my life to comfort and love me way beyond what I deserve.
So... in light of this past Monday, I am praying that we all can learn more and more how to fully rely on Jesus…
He is enough.
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