THE SHOCK FAMILY

It's been 1 month today. Am I supposed to be over it? Feels like I am. Definitely not over it though. I think I thought I would be by now. He was 85 and had dementia for crying out loud. I don't think it's about missing him all the time. More about the waves of sadness that come out of nowhere. Last night Kevin was watching a movie before falling asleep. The Natural ... a 1984 classic. Dad and I used to watch it together all the time. I think I liked it mostly because of Robert Redford :). I was so excited when he told me it was only half way over. Not too long into watching it... I just started weeping. Pretty sure Kev didn't know what to do with me. He immediately turned it off. "No! Don't turn it off. I love this movie!" I said through my tears. He then immediately turned it back on. And I wept some more. Pretty much cried myself to sleep in his arms. Where in the world did that come from?  I really have been doing great. Teary...

Here is the video I spoke about at Dad's memorial service. It's of our granddaughter... She and her momma were staying with us while Dad was home on Hospice. Late one night we were looking at old pictures to use for Dad's slideshow. Sweet little Kessa found a picture of her mom and dad when they first started dating. She held that picture in her hand and as she looked at it, huge crocodile tears started running down her face. We were all just sitting there stunned as she let us know how much she missed her daddy.  It had been a few days since he had been there... and she knew it! Alyssa decided to put her husband on the phone.  As 3 yr. old Kessa spoke (cried) with her daddy, our Lance decided to get out our ipod and videotape it. Here it is... Wait!  First... make sure you pause the music at the bottom of this page. After that night... and after we had watched the video several times,  I began to think about how much I was gonna miss my daddy whe...

We are back from our cruise.  It was an amazing trip.  God's timing is so very perfect.  I just sat down to spend some time looking at all the msgs I received on Facebook... about Dad, about our trip, and for my birthday... so many people saying so many encouraging things.  Again, God's timing is so very perfect! The funeral home and the memorial service were such a blessing to our family.  Seeing old and new friends/family show up to give us comfort and lots a hugs meant so much to all of us. I came down with a nasty cold on Wednesday (the day of the memorial service).  I literally slept through the whole next day, knowing that I should be packing because we were leaving for Port Canaveral on Saturday. Kevin kept reassuring me that we would get everything done in time to leave... and as always, my man was right. When we went to board the plane the kids were where they were supposed to be, Mom was where she was supposed to be, and I knew for a fact ...

Kathy and family flew in last night.  We had a sweet time together as a family.  Lots of singing, laughter and tears.  I'm sure Dad knows that we are all here for him. He just keeps on keeping on. The nurse came yesterday.  He was absolutely shocked that Dad's heart is still pumping.  His kidneys shut down on Thursday. He has what the nurse called uremic frost.  When I first looked at him yesterday morning, I thought he looked like something out of Chronicles of Narnia.  So when the nurse called it a "frost", it made total sense. The nurse said he has only seen three cases of uremic frost in his twenty years of working in hospice.  He explained that because Dad's kidneys have shut down, the toxins are coming out through his pores. Most people's hearts don't last that long once the kidneys stop working... of course Dad's just keeps on going.   That being said, he isn't expected to live past tomorrow. We have two more nephews that a...

Please pray for/with us! Dad is still here. He hasn't eaten or drank anything since Sunday. The Hospice nurse told us today he is pretty much in a coma. I am so tired. Mom is so very tired. Dad just keeps getting thinner and thinner. Alayna woke me up in the middle of the night last night... Dad's breathing was different. After I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep. Anxiety just kicked in and wouldn't let up. I understand that God has had the time for Dad's departure set up since before the world began. We are just begging Him for that time to be real soon. Family is on standby. A phone call away. Seems like all of our lives are on standby right now. Your prayers on our family's behalf are worth more than gold to us. I realized something yesterday... while driving in the car. My life will never be the same. There is a certain sadness that has entered... I don't think that sadness will go away. I can't tell you that I hate the feel...

First an update on Dad. The nurse came this morning and said he is in the transitional stage... not the final stage of the dying process.  But then she said he could be in the final stage by the end of the day.  I think the theme of this whole process has been ~ We just can't know for sure. This weekend we really thought he was moving on to Glory two different times.  We sat by his side and sang and laughed and prayed. In the quiet of the afternoon yesterday, I sat at his side and whispered (ok... maybe not whispered... the man's hearing is terrible) a few verses into his good ear. This is one of them ~ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Math. 11:28-29 I just explained to him that there is rest for his soul in Jesus.  Our whole family has been telling him that it is o.k. for him to move on... we will ...

I'm in Dad and Mom's bedroom right now... thought I would take a nap on Mom's bed while I wait for the nurse to come at 2:30.  I can't believe how worn out I feel. It's almost like having a newborn again... waking up every four hours to give Dad his medicine. It's the least I can do right? All the times this man has lost sleep on account of me! Of course, I am NOT sleeping... just lying here listening to Dad snore and the sound of the oxygen machine.  At this point I think they are both music to my ears. But... can we talk about Orv's snoring for just a minute? I know that if you have ever been in a house (maybe even a neighborhood) near my dad while he sleeps, you know that there is nothing... and I do mean NOTHING quite like it! We have so many stories about Dad's snoring.  The grandkids thinking there is a big old lion in the bedroom.  Leslie (my sister-in-law) sleeping in the car instead because she couldn't take it in the same hotel ro...