Just Thoughts

Cloudy day.

To-do list.

Playlist.

Feeling country.

All is quiet in this house.

Seems quiet in my soul as well.

Doesn't happen every day.

Thankful for it this morning.

Hair appointment - what color?

Mum shopping - what color?

That made me laugh.

The age where I can pick my hair color.

I mean... that's been going on for years now.

Decades.

Feeling fallish.

Maybe fallish colors?

What am I even typing right now?

That's what happens in my own little corner.

And I'm here for it.

Even if I'm the only one.

We have a new grandson coming.

Due a week from today.

Our baby is having a baby.

Is this real?

Did I marry Kevin Shock?

Do we have four married kids?

Six grandchildren with a seventh about to be born?

Am I grandma?

I still feel like I'm a kid.

I still love to play house.

Chloe has the best imagination.

Twice a week I get to run with it.

And I'm good at it.

We play house, and office and school and cruise.

Of course cruise.

My idea.

But in my imagination I'm pretty awesome.

My toilets are clean.

My baking is the very best.

I'm the nicest school teacher.

And I can manage an office like you wouldn't believe.

But we believe it.

Chloe and me.

And who knows what color of hair I will have this week.

In our imaginations...

And in real life.

For today?

I'm creating this life I'm living.

It's not my imagination.

Or is it?

What are my thoughts gonna be like?

Where will I let them wonder?

Where will I set my mind?

My heart?

What if I "pretend" I'm whole?

I'm loved?

I'm love.

I have all I need in this moment.

And I will have all I need in the next.

Hmmm...

Right here.

Right now.

Oh... and if I clean my toilets today?

I will have clean toilets.

That's what's real.

Either way... 

Loved.

Let's live loved today.






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