THE SHOCK FAMILY

Lance was baptized yesterday There were no cameras No video No dry clothes to put on after Just a sweet 10 year old boy Who knew it was time And with tears in his eyes Tugged on my sleeve and said "I wanna do this."

I know it has been awhile since I have posted on this blog, but I have had a pretty tough winter when it comes to my anxiety and depression.  One thing that has struck me through it all, is that when I look to God and really care about others... my anxiety diminishes. I'm so thankful for the AMAZING sermons I have heard from  Louie Giglio  http://www.passioncitychurch.com/watch/#20100131  and Ben Stuart  http://breakawayministries.org/resources  that spoke right to my anxiety. God has also brought some dear friends into my life that come directly from me being open an honest about my struggles. I have  found out that there are so many others fighting the same thing!  It is a real joy for me to share the HOPE of Christ with them even in the midst of my weakness! We rented The Blindside on Tues...  such a powerful movie!  One thing I realized while watching it was that the mom was not down at the homeless shelter looking for someone ...

There have been significant milestones over the last several years in my "recovery" from fear... This past couple of weeks there have been two of them! First of all, a family member called me out the other night as we were in a discussion about where this country is heading.  I said that I wasn't afraid...  she said something like  "You??? You??? You're the most fearful person I know".  Man, was that a huge wake up call!  I have thought long and hard on that one... it rings in my ears!  Being called out is never fun, but God is using it to open my eyes.  Is that what I want to be known for? The second... and most important... is just being able to see and hear one of our favorite pastors, Matt Chandler,  go through an enormous trial  (one that I have always been afraid of) with such a faith in God. The kind of faith that he has preached about for years.  His sermons have always helped me and pointed me to the truth that CHRIST IS E...

Just wanted to show off the cake that my niece Christen and Daughter Alayna made me for my 40th. All of my favorites in one cake.... Favorite word.... HOPE! Comes from life verse... Rom. 15:13  May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in HIM, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit. Favorite drink... PEPSI OF COURSE!  Btw,  don't tell Aunt Ruthie :) And then these girls went above and beyond by writing all of my favorite verses on the cake! Not only was the cake beautiful... it tasted AMMMAZING!!!! Check out their website...   www.thecutiepiebakery.com

I am sitting here this morning thinking and praying about how to say all I want to say right now.  I feel like I might have had a breakthrough with my fears this morning. I have had more than a few "lightbulb moments" in my struggle with anxiety. This revalation was brought on by my hearing about Stephanie Spielman's death last night.  As soon as I heard it, my stomach was in knots.  I wish I could say that it is because I felt bad for her family and friends, but if I am being honest...  I was thinking about me.  I KNOW!!!  How absolutely RIDICULOUS!!!  When things like this happen, I immediately try to imagine myself and my family going through it...  and I get scared...it's so selfish...  it's what any good hypochondriac would do...  bring the focus back to me! One thing that I was taught long ago in my battle with hypochondria was that God will not give me the grace for my imagination....

I am loving the new David Crowder Band CD -- Church Music.   The words to the songs just hit home, and it is the BEST MUSIC EVER to run to!  My favorite song so far on the cd is Shadows. The lyrics are incredible... When shadows fall on us We will not fear We will remember When darkness falls on us We will not fear We will remember When all seems lost When we're thrown and we're tossed We remember the cost We rest in Him Shadow of the cross What a word picture!  When I listen to the song, I can feel myself kneeling in the shadow... Resting there... Peaceful there... Safe there... No worries there... HOPE there! It reminds me of a sermon I heard by Matt Chandler ( I wish I could remember which one it was). He said (and I am paraphrasing)... The cross is not something we lean against and tell others they had better come over here and kneel down... No, the cross is place where I myself am kneeling and telling others ...

Here it is...  I am Charlie Brown -- Satan is Lucy -- I keep falling for the same old lies! Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly .  Everytime I watched this cartoon as a kid, I always just wanted to scream at him  "Stupid Charlie Brown! Why are you falling for it ONCE AGAIN?????"  Is that not what we do all the time?  same old lie, maybe packaged a little differenly . My friend Jane pointed this word picture out to me last week.  I keep thinking about it, and it has helped me sooo much!  I am putting this picture up all over my house...  I will NOT kick the football! watch video here: http://www.hgtv.com/videos/the-elusive-football/8751.html