THE SHOCK FAMILY

hey dad. 4 years? seriously? just yesterday. and yet? forever. 4 years later?  here's what i know. i think about you so much. i wonder if you somehow know? you are still so much a part of our family. we carry on your legacy. well, maybe not the michigan part. you really liked those wolverines. didn't you? ya know what?  i kinda did too. I kinda still do. shhh... our little secret, dad. guess what. we got a puppy. man, is he ever cute. of course, we named him after the ohio state quarterback. jt barrett. you would love him. and he would adore you. oh, and we bought a house. you should see mom's room. it looks like a little piece of schultz st. the piano. her hummels. your wedding picture. and we out in two sturdy doors. she can watch hallmark and fox news now... just as loud as she wants. i'm sitting in our florida room as i type this. windows open. it's beautiful. kn...

oh silly bee please don't sting me i'm minding my own business mind yours do not make me scream  at my son's tennis match this is not the place to make a scene and yet i scream everyone looks i keep my language clean ~ thank goodness ~ coach comes running assistant coach does too everyone is looking now what do i do? just need some ice i'm allergic  but not like that nobody panic but me  of course on the inside i know the swelling is coming the itching the benadryl the big  swollen feverish leg its been 15 years  since one of your little friends did this to me i've kept you at a safe distance i've killed a few of your friends and told them to go tell their friends not to mess with me yesterday? i was not so lucky you snuck up on me i didn't see it coming c'mon there is no time for this go find yourself a flower how can one little insect inflict so m...

                                                                  I'm watching Lance play tennis right now. Even when my head is down, or I'm looking at someone else, when Lance says something.  out there on the courts? I know it. I know his voice. It's deeper than it used to be. He sounds like a man. Still my little Lance though. Still my sweet baby. Lots of young men out on these tennis courts today. Lots of different voices. Only one Lance. Only one voice that I recognize. Whether it's his frustrated voice, An excited voice, A tired voice. It doesn't matter. I know him. And I'm pretty sure he knows mine as well. Not that I say much at these matches. Best to keep my mouth shut. An occasional head nod will do. An "I see you, Lance". He nods back. He sees me too....

woke up at 5:30 yesterday. did my yoga. felt so good about myself. today? not so much. took lance to school. came home and crawled back in bed. just drank bone broth for the first time. what in the world is that stuff? it better work. that's all i'm sayin. allergies or cold? always the big question. whatever it is. wipes me out. should i feel guilty about sleeping in? this has been my whole life as a stay at home mom. if i don't get up and have a "quiet time". make my bed. take a shower. before the kiddos get up. well then, i'm already starting out the day with an "F". dangit. i'm so thankful i didn't get a grade card on that. or any of my other mothering skills. or housekeeping skills. wait. maybe if i would have been graded i would have done better? maybe i would have stepped it up a notch. not so many Barney shows and Teletubbies. not as much pepsi in a bottle. shhhh. i wasn't they only mom who did that ...

5:30 am good as time as any to wake up coffee yoga why does my puppy have to help me do yoga? put him in his crate with a treat of course sun is not up yet body is not up yet stretching helps it's been so long since I've done this body is tight this hurts keep stretching keep paying attention to my breath keep thanking God for each of these breaths focus up and out what might God have for me today? how do i use the energy He has given me? 5:30 is early  for me it is quiet here for now beautifully quiet this will end soon this house is rarely quiet the day will start for all my people soon this quiet that i feel now? any possible way i can carry it through the day in my soul? my soul finds rest in Him no matter the circumstance no matter the noise the "to do" list is long overwhelming always overwhelming rest sweet soul breathe breathe like you do on the mat Punkie is hollering for you...

May 25, 2016 I mean... He did it  :) .  Sophomore year complete today. First "last day of school" pic for the Shock Family. I was scared to put him in. He was offered drugs the first two days of school. He smiled and said "no thanks". Whew!   I think I might have said "yes" to them on those first couple of days of my homeschool retirement. Lots of prayers instead.  And a new puppy to pass the time. Little Lance got some very good grades. All A's I can't believe that. I mean... I can. He is smart. But I always felt as a homeschool mom that I never did enough.  There is some encouragement for all you homeschool moms out there. It just kinda worked. Scratch that. It really did work. And public school works too!  When he is done today. We get to enjoy the summer. And not feel guilty for all I didn't do and still need to do for homeschooling. Does that even make sense???  All of ...

It's 6:30 am. The sun is peeking through our window. There are 3 baby robins that are chirping and will not shut up.   They are happy to be alive, I think. I am happy to have them on our front porch, I think.   Looks to be a beautiful day.   Coffee would be nice to start.   Kev sleeps.   Puppy is sleeping in my arms as I type. Alayna is home.   Her pictures from out West are insane. And I think to myself... What a wonderful world 🎤. Sometimes, in these past few years, I have wondered if God even exists. I know right? Not a question a 46 year old lover of Jesus should be asking. But I have. So I pray. To the God I am questioning.   He answers. Not in a big strong God voice.   But with sweet baby robins. Blue skies early on a Sunday morning in May. And a peace that I don't understand. He is here.   He loves us. He comforts us Even when we question. I honestly believe He is the one wh...